In today’s episode we are talking about peace. What is it, exactly? And how can we bring more of it into our busy lives?
Dani: Hello ladies,
Natalie: Good morning!
Dani: How’s everybody doing? How are you? Can tell by your good morning. It’s awesome. We love it when Natalie sings anything. Okay, so we are talking about peace today and it’s such a wonderful topic. I’m so happy to be bringing it up so that we can talk about it and about cultivating more peace in our lives. And I know when this came up for me is because of our last podcast, we did little plug for the last podcast we did. Um, Michael Singer’s Untethered Soul. Well this may not come out in order, so anyway, look up our previous podcast on Michael Singer’s untethered soul. Okay. So we were posting for social media and there was a post that said, when am I at peace, when are you at peace? And so it really, really sunk in. So that’s, we’re going to be talking about today, but I don’t want to go any further before we hear the card that Natalie pulled for the episode.
Natalie: Yay. So as usual, it’s a good’un. The card is quiet, nourishes me,
Natalie: And it says, quiet nourishes me. It connects me to. Sorry. It connects me to sacred space. I allow myself to step away from the sounds of technology and from the sounds of voices my own as well as others. The return to quiet brings me back to myself where I can experience my own stillness. Quiet allows me to listen. When I am quiet, I’m able to hear what is going on inside myself to connect to the gentle pulse of my own body. Subtle sensations, feelings and needs emerge. When I save a quiet, I am brought back to the power of now. Oh Wow. The power of now, which is our power of the present moment.
Natalie: We are back there guys.
Candace: Shocking! We should just rename our podcast.
Dani: I love how the same themes show up again and again and again, and I know we’ve said it before, but no one pulls a fricken card like Natalie. That was so awesome. And we’ve even had listeners say that they thought that maybe she went through the whole deck to find the right card. Even if you did went through all your decks, you can never find a card better than that, but you don’t. Of course you pull it…intuitively. Oh my gosh, that’s so awesome. So when I was thinking about the topic today of peace, I don’t want to be like one of those nerds who started with the dictionary defines peace as, but I’m going to do it anyway because when I started I was like, well, what is peace and is it the same as
Dani: I came into other thoughts that were like feeling satisfaction, feeling deep joy, presence, and these other things. So what we’re going to do is really just concentrate on peace. So the dictionary defines peace as freedom from distraction, quiet and tranquility. So I think as the card so beautifully pulled out, this is distraction from outside sources as well as our own mind, which is, I think kind of the key, is that voice in the head that goes all the time and has all these repetitious thoughts, right? So we know we have over 60,000 thoughts a day. Most of them repeat from the day before, the month before, years before, and a majority of them are not positive but negative. So anytime we can kind of get a break from that and separate from our mind a little bit and realize we are not, our minds were something so much deeper and so much more profound and infinite.
Dani: We are not our minds. So this is just about where we find peace in our day, how to cultivate a little bit more peace in our day and then maybe at the end, a few techniques maybe that we use to kind of bring up peace when we’re in stressful situations. So let’s just start there and just kind of open it up. When I think of bringing peace, of course, the first few things I think about are like meditation, mindfulness, and prayer. So these are like the big obvious ones where you’re intentional about bringing peace and everything. Does anybody, do either of you guys use those or use those to cultivate your, your own sense of peace?
Natalie: Yeah. So I, um, I do meditation. I’m not as consistently as I would like to, but um, I do use meditation and also mindfulness. So when I was struggling from ptsd, my mindfulness was something that was a big part of my recovery because you have to quiet in the brain. Um, and so I learnt some mindful techniques at that stage, so I do a bit,
Dani: Oh, you’re going to have to share them, you know, oh, mindfulness techniques. So we’re just going to breeze over and not tell them what they are.
Natalie: So I did CBT therapy and um, you know, that was kind of helpful and it’s just, it’s just, um, becoming aware of, of the thoughts that are going on in your head. So it kind of acknowledging them to begin with because I think that’s the first stage to quiet titling them when they’re just going on incessantly and you don’t, you’re not aware that that’s what’s happening. Um, so it’s kind of like draw attention to what’s happening in your head and then, um, you kind of just kind of sit with it and see where, see where it’s coming from and go, is this true? Is this real? Is this now, is this hurting me? You know, and just look at the big spectrum of questions.
Natalie: The other real thing that I did with mindfulness was actually coloring. So I got, I invested in a Disney princess coloring book, an adult version and a did coloring and it was the best thing in the world. I’m like, I still now like I should still do it. I don’t actually, this is inspiring me to go back and hunt it out. But um, that was like the one and only time for getting the, Oh, that CBT techniques I did, but when I was really struggling, if I was in a bad place, if I sat down and colored it would go away. But obviously I can’t color all day every day unfortunately.
Candace: Unfortunately.
Natalie: But yeah, I found that to be really helpful because you were so concentrating on the color and choosing your colors and like staying in the lines. But it just takes your brain away from all that stuff just to. And it’s kind of nothing because at the end of the day it’s not, that’s not putting any form of stress on my brain, just, you know, doing that. So it was just, it just forced me to stop. So yeah, coloring is my biggest tip.
Dani: Yeah. I love that, adult Disney princesses. Are you kidding me? That sounds like you.
Candace: So you get like sparkly gel pens?
Natalie: Oh No, I wish I had. No, I had some glitches in the crayons,
Dani: Christmas present ideas to write that down. I was just telling myself I shouldn’t have said it out loud. I should’ve just done it , that would have been so much better. Get a thought and I just say it out loud.
Dani: What about you Candace?
Candace: So when you first mentioned what the episode was going to be about today, I really felt like, when do I feel peace recently? It feels like never. So I had to actually spend a few minutes and think about when I actually feel peace. And a big part of that is being intentional with meditation. So meditation, I mean I feel peace with coloring and I feel peace, you know, at different times, but true, like the truest sense of peace. The total calm, the total. I don’t know when I feel what I feel is peace is, is not just a freedom from distractions, which by the way, I love that you had that definition because I had no idea that that was the actual definition of the word and I love it. Um, but anyway, so I kind of see peace as the calmness, the nothingness, but also a sense of wholeness and the only time that I really feel that is with meditation. So I would say that that is the ultimate peace for me. Um, but I do, I do use coloring. I don’t have Disney princess coloring books. I just had silly old mandalas and kind of anything sort of creative like that. So it’s like coloring, painting. I’m not a good painter, but I enjoy painting and doing, you know, um, whether it’s creatively creating my own art or if it’s like a paint by number, you know, any of those types of things where you can kind of just let go and just be.
Candace: Um, and I also find that for me, like first thing in the morning when I’m alone. So I guess that’s a big piece of peace for me is being alone. Um, and first thing in the morning, nobody’s awake. It’s still dark out. Nobody’s awake like outside. My neighbors are still asleep. Nobody’s on the road and I do find a sense of peace in those moments, you know, I’ll sit outside with my tea and just be in the quiet fresh air.
Dani: I’m like, I love that Candace. And you’re really touching upon. I feel like I’m a, there’s another deeper level beyond peace and that’s what I call presence. And that’s what you were talking about Candice, and that’s really the communion with God or the communion with all that is. And that’s where the whole mess and the unity with every living thing comes in. And I thought, you know what? That’s a whole other podcast, another podcast, but it is, it’s a like a, this deeper level of peace, but peace is kind of the gateway to it. It’s, it’s the beginning of shutting off those distractions and becoming present is really the beginning of that. Go ahead, Natalie,
Natalie: That, that made me teary. You saying that when you were like, yeah, because it is that deeper level. This is the entrance to kind of presence when you were saying, what’s the definition? I was thinking, what’s my definition of peace? The word that I got was like stillness. Um, so, um, yeah, I think that’s so interesting that you said that because that just rings really true for me to use and then that leads to presence, but that’s what you need because my word of the year of his presence and I have this peace. So, I think that’s the problem.
Dani: Well, yeah, it could be the gateway, you know, that you can, that you can use to take you there. And so those are the, those are the big hitters. Those are those heavy hitters. And I, I know for me, I’m practicing mindfulness. I used to practice mindfulness and then before long I just be, I’m still so in my head like, oh, okay, pay attention to like the water, hitting my body in the shower and then I’m still in my head when I thought it was practicing mindfulness and I would just be worn out from like 30 minutes of mindfulness. So, if you’re doing that. I just want to say for anyone out there who did it, maybe it’s just me, but I’m that mindfulness really is pulling that, that sort of peace of meditation that you find the nonthinking mind, the release and the relaxation, bringing it into your every day and feeling focusing more on. So think of mindfulness. This helps me to think of mindfulness more as focusing on body sensations and less on thoughts and Natalie, you brought up a good point. That’s, that can be the entry point there as well, is recognizing that you’re just having thoughts that are going on. So, um, so that’s, that’s that. I don’t want to go too far into that. We’ll talk about. Well now ‘s already started with the tips on how to do it right? So a couple of little things that I have for, for tips when we do want to bring in a little moment of peace when we’re feeling kind of stressful is a cbt technique. It’s a cognitive behavior therapy technique and it is, um, you’re having a thought. I do this so often when I drive. I know I’ve probably mentioned this to you guys before. I’m one of these people. It’s so funny because I can be listening to Eckhart Tolle, uh, do a recorded lecture, right? And I’m just like, I’m evolving and I’m at peace right. I get into my car and go and uh, and before you know it, I’m like say something like jackass or way out of the blue, like at other drivers, like things are not going like I think they should go with a hell or shaking my head or all of that. And um, and I giggle. But here’s what I used to do before I would go straight into the giggle is I would say, you noticed you’re having a thought. So you repeat the thought for 10 seconds. That guy’s a jackass. Like, that was my thought, right? That guy is a jackass. That guy’s a jackass. Plus just saying the word jackass makes me smile. So, um, so there’s a therapeutic value in just that. See, repeat it for 10 seconds. You just say it as many times as you can. The next 10 seconds you say, I’m having the thought that this guy’s a jackass, I’m having to though that this guy’s a jackass. I’m having the thought with that. And then the third phase, if you still need it, if you haven’t completely let go of it by now, is I notice that I’m having the thought that this guy is a jackass. I noticed that I’m having the thought that this guy is a jackass and it’s just this separation piece by piece from our thoughts. So I know in the beginning when we’re trying to notice, oh, I’m having a thought, there can still be no separation for like, yeah, I’m having a thought. And it’s true. He is really a jackass that helped me in the beginning to make that transition to being able to recognize those thoughts as just thoughts. Um, so any other ideas from you guys on, just things like when you’re kind of in the moment a little bit stressed, you want to pull in a little bit of peace and what do you do?
Natalie: There’s really simple one, which is often I find, you know, brain space, like I just feel like I shouldn’t have no brain space because somebody like mumming or working or life-ing as does find that just a good old fashioned brain dump, you know, just get a piece of paper and just get it all out of the head onto something. I find that that can just give me some peace or a sense of, you know, like maybe don’t peace maybe quiet closer to peace.
Candace: Yes. Oh that’s such a good one. But I think the revelation of this conversation is that quiet is peace. Great. Quiet can be peace
Dani: Well quiet in the mind. Yeah.
Candace: I mean going off of what you’re saying, like even with a brain dump, whether it’s a brain dump about all of the things that you need to do your to do list, blah, blah blah. Or if you take it to the other side and deal with the emotions of whatever is stressing you out. So I mean, I know that the recommendation a lot of time with journaling, if it’s something specific to an event or a person in your life is to then burn it afterwards so that you’re kind of completing that. But um, I think journaling can really help. And I would say also in the moment, I mean when we’re stressed out in the moment, it’s not always a time when we can just go and get a peace of paper and a pen and layout our life. But you know, you’re in the store and the person’s blocking the aisle. It’s really irritating that you just want to get the milk and get out, but you can’t get around them. I think breathing, breathing is a huge help to kind of bring yourself back to center and observe the thoughts. Kind of marry those two together. You know, observe the thoughts, do the techniques that you both mentioned, but also do the deep breathing. And I think the deep breathing kind of helps to release those emotions as you’re feeling them.
Natalie: Yeah. When, when I’ve done kind of meditation stuff before or sometimes after energy healing, energy healing, healing, healing practitioner tells me to lie grounded completely on the floor with no kind of pillow or anything, completely flat for 10 minutes and to just lie there. And you know, your mind wants to go to here, there and everywhere, you know, because you just, I need to.. I should be doing this and actually think about this thing that happened earlier in the day. But what really helps is going to the breathing because if you just focus on the in and the out, the rest does melt away. Um, so it’s good for you anyway. Just breathing because it’s, you know, it’s kind of recalibrating your system, but also being able to focus on that means that the rest doesn’t have, can’t get in there.
Dani: I love that so much ladies. Thank you so much. That I’m breathing I think is just one of the most powerful and underutilized tools that we have. And it’s always accessible. And so even the simplicity of 3 to 10 deep breathing into the belly breaths and my kids, this is so common in my house, you know, one of them will be upset and I’m like, belly breathe, let’s do it together. And my son will just look over at me like not going to do that mom, you know, or they’ll be upset about something and they’re like, I know I was doing the breathing, you know, because they know that’s what I’m going to say. But three to 10, very deep breaths, press a reset button on your nervous system. And it is. It’s physiological and mental and emotional and spiritual. Even that breath does bring life.Another great thing I think for cultivating peace is nature and one of you already said it Candace, I think you already said fresh air and Natalie you mentioned lying flat. And our contact with our bare feet or with our bodies on the ground on the grass is so good even though I rarely, rarely do it. What about you guys?
Natalie: I love being outside without shoes on. I do that a lot. Just in my garden but like generally felt aside and I just love that feeling and I always do feel really grounded when I do that. My kids do all the time and it makes me really happy. I know you should be wearing shoes kids, but at least are grounded now
Dani: And there are scientific, but they’re like microbes in the soil that we pick up, which I’m sure you know, and it really is good. I know as a kid I ran around barefoot. My feet were pretty callous to actually, I would run across the driveway and even through some rocks and down the grass in the backyard. I ran around all the time barefoot and accept for an occasional sticker bush, you know, I hate it when old people say, well, when I was a kid and I survived it just fine. And I just did that too.
Candace: It’s a rite of passage. Um, so I love that too. And I used to be barefoot outside all the time. I’m always barefoot inside. I mean I don’t even normally like wearing socks, but um, as I’ve gotten older and this is probably something I need to work through, maybe do some tapping for it. But like the thought of bugs touching my feet makes me cringe so badly that I won’t go on the grass without shoes now. It’s terrible. It’s like a problem. So, I don’t know if you guys have a solution for that. What can I do about that? I can have my feet in the grass and to find that peace therapy? shock therapy?
Natalie: You just said another one though, Candice, that I used as well as my PTSD. It just tapping. So when I would have like an intrusive thought come up, then I would do my tapping and that would just quietly it make it go away.
Dani: Thank you Natalie. And for everyone out there who’s like tapping???
Natalie: So well I like the mass use of tapping but for me when I was using it was so I’d have a thought and if it was starting to get kind of agitated or worked up then you tap into a bunch of places and I haven’t done it for ages. I’m trying to remember like where the places you do it, but you basically tap and say the thought. Um, but you say the thought like in a more positive spin, like Candace. I don’t know if you might be pretty bad because it’s been awhile since I’ve had to do it.
Candace: I think a lot of times people recommend saying so if your thought was that guy’s a jackass, it’s like that guy’s a jackass, but I love myself anyway.
Natalie: I love and accept myself. Yeah. So that’s what I did. Yes. So even though I believe is, yeah, the top of your head and then I think your forehead, your Chin and then collarbone. Yeah. And then there’s also one on the wrist, like right on the. Yeah. So you just work through and so I would do three. So you tap like three times on each place and then you do it three times. This is how I was taught
Dani: and there are a ton of, a ton of videos on youtube for anybody who’s interested in it’s EFT look up eft, emotional freedom technique. That’s what everybody calls tapping. But if you look at tapping technique or how to do tapping, then I’m sure it’ll come up. But yeah, it’s, it’s powerful stuff. I’m really glad that you, that you brought that up. Um, there are a lot of people, especially with trauma who find tapping a life changing thing. So that is wonderful.
Natalie: It seems so daft like when you’re doing it it seems like how like really like this is going to help, but it does.
Dani: Yeah. And there’s one like under the arm, so you’re feeling like a Dork
Natalie: On the tube. But yeah, no, it is helpful.
Dani: And then one of the big things, I know this is a, this is something so big, but it was so huge. I remember when I first got my divorce and I never realized really that the team, when we were married, the TV was on all the time. Like if we were home, the TV was on, it was news, it was sports, it was whatever. We were watching it, we weren’t watching it. It was on all the time. And one of the things about my divorce, I was like I can turn the TV off like the kids and I went through this period where we’re just like. It had to be really good before we turn the TV on. And then we got rid of cable and then we’ve been basically cable for ever since I was like 10 years ago. Now we have, you know, Netflix, Amazon, occasionally hbo when they have another game of thrones season come out. Um, but um, so I know just even sometimes getting rid of background noise, getting rid of things that we think we might need or we’re just in the habit of having that actually without you just realize, oh wow, this, there’s this space opening up in the silence that I didn’t have when all that noise was on, whether I was paying attention to it or not.
Natalie: Exactly. It’s funny because I think different people find, so my husband always has like something on so like music or he’ll have to. So if he’s like doing anything else to have like a video on his phone or he can’t just do one thing, but it drives me crazy because like, I like peace, like no noise, peace, quiet peace. Um, so I like sometimes he’lI just have music on all the time and I just have to turn it off, like I can’t, I can’t, bad the noise. But for him he kind of like, weirdly sort of finds peace in that. Whereas, you know, if it wasn’t on, that would be him kind of feeling all out with sync. So it’s like we have to, you know, negotiate.
Dani: Yes, there are other people who have different experiences, although I think they’re crazy like it wrong. No, and I don’t want to say that but my son is the same way and not only will you put on music to do things, but he’ll put on, you know, you know, like really either heavy metal or rap or whatever. Do you get into it the moment, you know, and it, that’s the way he finds peace though. It’s very distracting and hard for him to do things, especially things that don’t require a lot of brain work, like mowing the lawn or whatever. It’s very irritating to him to do that without that. So, um, yeah. So we definitely be respectful of everybody’s. For some people it’s like cooking, like they lose time and go into cooking and have such joy and peace. It flows naturally, right? It can be different things for different people.
Natalie: Yeah. But do you think those people. So if anyone’s listening and can answer this question for us please do!, um, so do you think those people actually find the,.. I’ll ask my husband find peace in the noise. Or are avoiding peace.
Dani: I think I may have a bias. I mean I’ve always just kind of assumed that they’re more avoiding peace because I think of if, if I think of every master, every person I know who has deep peace in their lives, they aren’t blaring and distracting all the time. But I also know enough to know that there are so many paths to God and paths too on, on the journey that I don’t know for sure. But that’s just like the evidence I have. I know what works for me. So, you know, God bless him. I’m not sure.
Dani: I think that sometimes distraction can be a stepping stone, so maybe it’s all the voice in the head and not going straight to. Oh, an awareness. I’m having a thought, what can I do? I’m, I’m not my thoughts and that kind of path, but maybe the next step for some, and maybe for a lot of us is the distraction. Um, I’ll go read a book, I’ll go onto facebook, I’ll go eat something for me, I’ll go do this other thing that’s a distraction so that that’s the way I can get relief from the incessant thinking and, and the burden of that. And so maybe it’s a viable option and maybe it’s a step along the way or it’s at least better than what was before.
Natalie: Exactly. So it’s distracting you, but it’s not really bringing true peace. But if you’re good with the distraction then is it a problem? Probably not
Dani: Right. Sometimes distraction is like heaven. Sometimes you would just give anything just for a distraction on what’s going on.
Natalie: Yeah. Someone called me out like a couple of weeks ago and I’m like, this whole thing about being busy because I just had a few weeks where I’ve just been so busy and uh, she was like, what are you avoiding? And I was like, what are you avoiding? But yeah, it’s so true. Cause yeah, I basically like this, there was stuff going on personally that I didn’t really want to look at. And so consciously or subconsciously by keeping myself so super busy, I wasn’t allowing myself the opportunity to even go there. Whether that was, I don’t know whether it was, you know, I don’t think it was conscious, but um, yeah, I thought that was really interesting. So it just reminds me of that situation where it’s a distraction. So like being busy as a distraction from the things that I could be looking at or should be looking at.
Dani: Yeah. Um, I think one other little category that we haven’t really touched on is those things that we do that might not be everyday things that might be more grand or something like travel or do retreats or massage or going to a float or going to a drumming circle, things like that. So any kind of stuff like that that you guys want to share or that you enjoy that brings you peace.
Natalie: So I recently went, started going to a sound bath so they use that Tibetan sound bowls. Um, so that’s nice and I do find peace there. So it’s like one hour and you know, do I love it, you know, the sound bath in itself, the noise is actually all that pleasant but like it heals, like your chakras and does all this stuff and it really was like, you lie there for an hour honestly. You come out so dehydrated and like why am I dehydrated from lying on a cold in a cold room for an hour? Like it’s crazy. So it definitely does something to your body. Um, so that’s fine. Um, but what I find is if I didn’t have it then I wouldn’t, I’d spend the hour being busy, so I love it that it’s like a set time, at a certain place I have to go and just spend one hour with nothing on, there’s noise, but it’s just, you know, you just zone out of it and just kind of go into this space. Um, they say it takes you into an altered state of consciousness, but then because you’re an altered state of sense of consciousness, you’re not conscious. So I don’t know what happens then. Um, but yeah, no, so it was really good. So I liked doing that, but yeah, you guys know that I had my first ever massage like a month ago. Um, which, yeah,
Dani: Did that work for you or are you like, oh, this person’s touching me and I don’t know.
Natalie: I am a bit like that. Yeah. And so I was so tense in it, so I definitely wasn’t relaxed, but she liked, she did all this stuff and I had really like really knotty. So it showed me like how much stuff I’m holding. Um, but yeah, so I know that I could see the benefit of it and maybe if I went more often I’d like loosen up and be more relaxed, but yeah, so I don’t really, do you know any of any of those things? That’s my investment in self once a month, one hour, yes.
Candace: I find Reiki to be that and it probably does have, it’s partly due to the fact that like with Reiki, I mean sometimes sometimes the Reiki practitioner will touch you, but a lot of times they don’t. So it doesn’t have that same, you are touching me, you are really in my space kind of feeling that massage does for me anyway. And despite it relaxing my body, it doesn’t bring me peace and relaxed my mind, like the massage and I forget what else you said. Drumming circles and travels and retreats. Retreats, yeah. I don’t planned travel to be peaceful at all. I love it, but I don’t find a peaceful at all. Um, and same with um, same with the other stuff you mentioned, but I’ve never been to like a spiritual retreat. So I’ve been to like business retreats. But not a spiritual retreat, so I feel like there would be peace there and I look forward to doing some of those in the future. But so far I don’t have personal experience with them.
Dani: I know as far as spiritual retreats I have. I do. I’m lucky enough to have a place that is about an hour from my home that is out in nature. Basically, there are a lot of, you’d call it farmland, but there’s also deep woods there so it’s on the edge and there’s just open field with different meditation places just to go and sit. And then there are deep woods that you can just do, just hike for an hour or two with some hills that aren’t too bad. Um, and if I take my map I can, you know, make my way back out. But uh, I do love that and I find that if I haven’t been in a few months I can definitely tell the difference. So it’s a nice recharge. So hopefully we’ve given people some bigger ideas, littler ideas, ideas for meditation, ideas that they can just bring in and a little bit more calm and to their lives. Because I just truly feel like you guys, that our lives have gotten busier. They’re so much more in them and we kind of this collective kind of madness that we walk around with. We just act like it’s normal and there really is a different way of being. There really is more peace to be found, but sometimes we have to kind of seek it out and be intentional about bringing it in and I also think there’s opportunities to bring in peace. We’re like, I don’t have time for meditation. I don’t have time for this and I don’t have time to color or do those, but sometimes we can replace other things that just aren’t as rewarding or fulfilling. I don’t know if anybody out there what Natalie scrolling facebook. Yes, it’s true. How often do we start scrolling? Maybe we’re looking for something in particular, want to check out a friend or a group or something and then it’s like 40 minutes later, an hour later and we’re like, okay, where did that. Where did that go so we can kind of find it or watching a TV program that you don’t really love or reading a book that you don’t like, but you’re like, I started it and by God I’m going to finish it.
Dani: I used to do that. Don’t do that anymore, but I used to be very like, if I started, I have to finish it. There’s that little tiny bit of compulsion in me anyway. I think that we’ve given people some kind of big picture little picture stuff. I think this hopefully will be helpful. Anything else you guys want to say before we close?
Candace: I think that was perfect.
Dani: Okay, good. Love you both. Thank you all. Bye.